Weird Al Ringtones

I'm waking up, in Cheeto dust My belly's covered with pizza crust I'm using my inhaler now I'm out of shape, fattening up I'm sipping Coke from a Solo Cup Donut crumbs are upon my lips, whoa The TV's on, I really hate this show I can't reach my remote control Welcome to my new place, to my new place Sorry it's a cramped space, but it's my place Whoa oh, whoa I'm, really inactive, I'm so inactive Whoa oh, whoa I'm, really inactive, highly inactive My muscle's gone, I'm atrophied Always lose my fight with gravity I rest my bones, and just chillax, whoa My NordicTrack's collecting dust And my StairMaster's a pile of rust This is it, The Inertia, whoa I can't get up, this couch is part of me I'm growing cobwebs on my knee Pretty sad for my age, sad for my age I could break my rib cage, here is my age Whoa oh, whoa I'm, really inactive, yes, quite inactive Whoa oh, whoa I'm, really inactive, not very active Near comatose, no exercise Don't tag my toe, I'm still alive I'm giving up, my energy is shot I'm never moving from this spot Never move from this place, move from this place I'll stay here in this place, right in this place Whoa oh, whoa I'm, really inactive, just so inactive Whoa oh, whoa I'm, really inactive, not so attractive

La-la-la-la-lasagna You want-a some-a lasagna, magnifico Or a-maybe spaghetti Ay, you supper's a-ready now, where you go Mama mia bambino Mama mia bambino, 'samatta you 'Samatta you, 'samatta you You should-a taste my lasagna Ay, you no like-a lasagna That's okay too How about-a calzone Some-a nice minestrone, at's good for you Have-a some marinara Have-a some marinara, I know you like I know you like, I know you like La-lasagna La-lasagna La-lasagna Would you like some-a zucchini Or-a my homemade linguini, it's hard to beat Have-a more fettuccini Ay, you getting too skinny, you gotta to eat Ay, mange, mange Ay, you-a pass the lasagna A-don't you get any on ya, you sloppy pig Have-a more ravioli You-a get roly poly, a-nice and-a big Like you cousin Luigi Luigi, Luigi, capisce paisan Capisce paisan, capisce paisan La-lasagna La-lasagna La-lasagna La-lasagna Hey! Hey! Whoo! Ha ha

Hey Lucy, I'm home Oh Ricky, you're so fine You're so fine, you blow my mind Hey Ricky, hey Ricky Oh Lucy, you're so fine You're so fine, you blow my mind Hey Lucy, hey Lucy Oh Ricky, you're so fine You play your bongos all the time Hey Ricky, hey Ricky Oh Lucy, you're so fine How I love to hear you whine Hey Lucy Hey Ricky You always play your conga drums, you think you got the right You wake up little Ricky in the middle of the night Stop shakin' your maraccas now and just turn out the light Ricky I'm sick of Fred and Ethel always coming over here 'Cause Fred eats all our pretzel sticks and then he spills his beer Why don't you serve your casserole and make them disappear Lucy Oh Ricky, what's a girl like me supposed to do? You really drive me wild when you sing your babalooo Oh Lucy, you're so dizzy, don't you have a clue Well, here's to you Lucy I love you too Lucy, too Lucy, let's babaloo Lucy Hey Ricky You're always playing at the Club, you never let me go I'm begging and I'm pleading but you always tell me no Oh, please honey please, let me be in your show Ricky You always burn the roast and you drop the dishes too You iron my new shirt and you burn a hole right through You're such a crazy redhead, I just don't know what to do Lucy Oh Ricky What a pity, don't you understand That every day's a rerun and the laughter's always canned Oh Lucy I'm the Latin leader of the band So here's to you Lucy Let's babaloo Lucy, too Lucy Everbody rumba! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

I, man, am Regal, a German am I Never odd or even If I had a Hi-Fi Madam, I'm Adam Too hot to hoot No lemons, no melon Too bad I hid a boot Lisa Bonet ate no basil Warsaw was raw Was it a car or a cat I saw? Rise to vote, sir Do geese see God? Do nine men interpret? Nine men I nod Rats live on no evil star Won't lovers revolt now? Race fast safe car Pa's a sap Ma is as selfless as I am May a moody baby doom a yam Ah Satan sees Natasha No devil lived on Lonely Tylenol Not a banana baton No X in Nixon O stone, be not so O Geronimo, no minor ego "Naomi" I moan A Toyota's a Toyota A dog, a panic, in a pagoda Oh no, Don Ho Nurse, I spy gypsies, run! Senile felines Now I see bees, I won UFO tofu We panic in a pew Oozy rat in a sanitary zoo God, a red nugget, a fat egg under a dog Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog

Soy un perdedor I'm a loser, baby, so why don't you kill me? (Everybody!) Soy (soy, soy) un perdedor I'm a loser, baby, so why don't you kill me? (Hey!) I am, I am, I am I said I wanna get next to you I said I'm gonna get close to you You wouldn't want me have to hurt you too, hurt you too I know you want what's on my mind I know you like what's on my mind I know it eats you up inside I know ya know, ya know, ya know Here I come, I come, I come, I come Here I come, I come, I come 'Cause all I wanna do is have some fun I got a feeling I'm not the only one All I wanna do is have some fun I got a feeling I'm not the only one All I wanna do is have some fun Until the sun comes up over Santa Monica Boulevard (Help me!) I broke apart my insides (Help me!) I've got no soul to sell (Help me!) The only thing that works for me Help me get away from myself I wanna - you like an animal I wanna feel you from the inside I wanna - you like an animal My whole existence is flawed You get me closer to God Hey! Hey! Hey! You bang (bang), bang, bang, bang (bang), bang Blame (blame), blame, blame You bang (bang), bang, bang, bang (bang), bang It's not my thing, so let it go 'Cause the love that you gave that we made Wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no And every time you speak her name Does she know how you told me you'd hold me until you died, 'til you died? Well, you're still alive And I'm here to remind you Of the mess you left when you went away It's not fair to deny me Of the cross I bear that you gave to me You, ooh, ooh, ought-a know (hey!) Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage And someone will say what is lost can never be saved Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage I love all of you Hurt by the cold (brr!) So hard and lonely too When you don't know yourself I don't owe you anything I don't owe you anything I don't owe you anything I don't owe you anything Black hole sun, won't you come? And wash away the rain? Black hole sun, won't you come? Won't you come? Black hole sun, black hole sun Won't you come? Black hole sun, black hole sun Won't you come? Black hole sun, black hole sun Do you have the time to listen to me whine About nothing and everything all at once? I am one of those melodramatic fools Neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it Sometimes I give myself the creeps Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me It all keeps adding up, I think I'm cracking up And am I just paranoid, or am I just stoned? Or am I just stoned? Hey!